helen_leo_3I recently heard a talk about finding beauty in the mess of our lives.  It brought be back to a moment almost exactly three years ago that I felt was important to share, and also important for me to remember.

I had just had my third surgery on December 1, 2010.  After recovering in Omaha for a few days, I was back at home.  I was alone.  Neel was at work and the kids were at the sitter since I couldn’t lift anything yet.  I was lonely, scared and very sore.  For a third time the cancer had come back and I didn’t know what was in store for me.  It was a very dark – messy time.

Then my doctor called.  The pathology report had come back from the lab.  They had gotten all the cancer.  The margins were clear.  I didn’t need more surgery or radiation.  I was going to be okay.

I remember hanging up the phone, looking up, and everything looked different.  I mean actually looked different.  The colors in our home were more vibrant.  Immediately I thought of the phrase, “put on your rose-colored glasses.”  That’s what it felt like.  It felt like I had new eyes through which to see everything.


We did take Helen to her first movie a week or so later – “Tangled”

The second thing that happened, that brought me to tears in that moment, was I realized that I was going to be able to take Helen to her first movie.  What!?  It seems so silly and simple now, but at the time I didn’t know if I would ever feel good enough to be able to do that with my daughter.

God brought SO much beauty into that VERY messy time in our life.

Three years have passed and I try so hard to hold on to what life felt like in the that moment.  To try to live that way everyday – find beauty in the simple things and treasure absolutely everything.

I write this today because I think it’s something we all need to hear every now and then.  And also to remind ourselves to fervently pray for those who are in that moment I was three years ago – not knowing if they will ever feel well enough to do even the simplest activities with their families.   To pray that they are able to find beauty in their mess, and that God never abandons us.

I hope everyone is able to take some time this season (and always!) to treasure the little things and be thankful that we get to be living this crazy, messy, beautiful life.